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[[Victorias secrets]]

[ website | i'm rarely on myspace but w/e ]
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[ archive | journal archive ]

Oh hai(: [Sep. 12th, 2010|05:49 pm]
[Current Mood |boredbored]

Follow me =]

Link1 Up yours! Oh Bondage

How are all you lito babies? [Sep. 7th, 2010|06:20 am]
[Current Music |the fitness- day job]

.....Haven't been on in a while. Victoriaisvile.tumblr.com is another blog i have. I mostly post stupid shit that makes me smile, or laugh or w/e floats my boat.

Come join in the fun.
(i'm pretty boring these days)

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(no subject) [Feb. 12th, 2010|10:50 am]

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FUCK YOU MR.ROGERS [Feb. 12th, 2010|10:27 am]
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It's snowing again.... [Feb. 10th, 2010|08:10 am]
[Tags|, ]
[Current Music |Chromeo- fancy footwork]


I really wish it would stop. It snowed all weekend we got several ft. So due to this i've been stuck in my house for a  week going stir crazy, i have gotten to the point that i'm used to being 100% alone...sometimes it's fine but it get's well...lonely!
Besides all the lovely snow news, i'm starting to like a guy who i never really considered till recently. Well he's older, really attractive...but not really into most the things i'm into.

Biggest difference is he doesn't do drugs...(that's good right?) Not for me. I know i know i sound ridiculous. I just am not going to change what i enjoy doing for a relationship. Mainly because i've been fucked over as you all know & am not setting myself up to abandon everything about me for a guy.  If he was OK with me doing drugs & getting fucked up then that would be a completely different story. But this fella hates that kind of stuff *thumbs down*  He doesn't even talk to me when he knows i'm fried. Everyone has their flaws & bad habits...i wish someone would just accept mine for once.
It seems pretty dead around here...anyone still on LJ?
I'm thinking of making a new blog. This one is just full of me whining & bad memories. But what site should i join.

What's better

OR is there another site i should know about?
Well i'm goingto go smoke a fag & figure out what to do with my day, hopefully someone on here's still alive =p
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Why hello stranger, [Dec. 16th, 2009|02:11 pm]
[Current Mood |blahblah]

Please remain that way....

This past weekend was a real eye opener, i ran into my horrid ex boyfriend to start off. I was on a drug binge...so was he. So we decided to hang out for some retarded reason. We just chilled at my house and he was high on dope & kept nodding out. It was like hanging out with a autistic kid or something. It made me sad and angry at the same time. Who is this person? I sure as hell didn't know anymore. The guy i "loved" and promised me the world is now...a selfish lying junkie dick.(& that's a understatement)

The surrealness of it all has been to much to swallow. How could this even happen? How could the guy i thought i would spend the rest of my life with just become this way? Guess that's just another life lesson called "you just realized you lost your first real love and it's a bitch to get over huh?" Why yes it is a bitch to get over.

Thinking of how he ment everything to me and i was just like "eh.." to him. I was something to make him feel special..give him attention. & when i didn't give him attention he'd find another girl to take my place. Just so simple. I wasn't his first "real love" as he would say. And he'd call me randomly to use me for sex & I out of stupidity thought he actually just missed me and liked being close to me LMFAO (i know i know)
He can't even bare to hear me talk. That should of been a sign.

Yet i still spent my last few dollars on him, i bought him a book this weekend after he found out he was being sued. I felt so bad for him, why? It wasn't my problem. I could of just laughed and thought *thank god you deserve every bad thing that happens to you, you heartless piece of scum*
But he wouldn't have treated me any different if i had said that thought out loud to him instead of try to comfort him. I tryed, he said "don't fucking touch me" ok...then he would just randomly call be a bitch and say "FUCK YOU"...in the meanest loud screaming tone,talked to me like a straight up animal. I don't even think he'd treat an animal as poorly as me. The girl he's supposed to of cared about.

I even recall him asking me (after being a complete ass) if i loved him...and when i said "uhm..why? I don't know" he acted all butthurt. Why does he care, he has a girl friend, he doesn't need to have me love him too. jeeze. It's like he'll manipulate girls and play with their heads to make them fall in love so he can get shit out of them. DISGUSTING. I feel like i fell in love with the devil. Maybe i did, metaphorically speaking?

Anyways I'ma sweet girl and don't deserve this shit. He wants to be "friends" friends don't treat friends that way so no..we won't be friends. He has enough anyways, yet still complains that he has "no one to talk to about shit" HELLO *WAVING HANDS VIGOROUSLY* wow. Is anything ever good enough for that kid? He has everything he's ever asked for (a band that's signed, friends JUST like him, girls, a job...a new fake personality & an ego bigger than his head (which is pretty big))unlike...

So uhm guess this chapter of my life is OFFICIALLY over. No going back, fuck the memories, fuck the pain & fuck the god damn attachment. & i guess fuck my family i wanted to have. I can't be emotionally drained anymore. I have met a guy i really really liked but he doesn't have a phone but is the lead singer in my friends band. I hope i get to see him again & pray he likes me back. His personality is what won me. I haven't really liked a guy in ages.

I want to fall in love again. Yes i said AGAIN. it's weird to say because i thought you could only really love ONE person and that one person only. I believed that cheesy "soulmates, piece to my puzzle, other half" load of crap. I'm bitter so it's gonna be hard. It's like i'm starting all over again. Last time i started over i was 16,this time i'm 20 (lets hope i'm not still single by the time im 26)
I rambled alot on this post, but it feels good to get this off my chest cause it's been unbearably hard to breath.
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(no subject) [Nov. 9th, 2009|05:04 pm]


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(no subject) [Oct. 31st, 2009|02:35 am]


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Well hello there redundancy! [Oct. 29th, 2009|09:26 pm]
I AM SOOOOOOO SICK OF.....  Everyone being god damn pot heads! Seriously, all my "friends"( too pissed to even call them that right now. I don't see anyone i really call a friend anymore cause they all live far way...) All anyone does is get fucked up. They can't even do "cool" drugs they fucking do percs, smoke weed and some of them even robo tripp. Jesus if you're going to be fucked up all the time might as well do something worth the damn money! And of course drink drink drink and act like whores. I just love partying all the time and having sex with random dirty people i don't give a fuck about! I'm just SO BORED..you could never beleive. I'm at the point where i have more fun by myself than partying with a bunch of losers who think they're the shit. Personality? What's that? I don't expierience that very often, just a bunch of mindless zombies. It makes me really sad actually. I used to have so much fun in my life and it was all cut short at the tender age of 19. COOL! Anyways i got occupied with my cell phone and forgot what else i was going to say
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Wow..i can't beleive [Oct. 21st, 2009|10:18 pm]
[Current Mood |moodymoody]

That I've posted some of the stuff that I've written on this site. To the public, my deepest, darkest thoughts & feelings for any random person in the world to read. It's nut's when i think about it. Looking back at all the pain and everything I probably seem weak and just plain old sad. I'm not ALWAYS miserable..i just only feel the need to write when I'm having negative thoughts, i guess it helps me sort out everything. Plus when I am happy, I'm too busy smiling and laughing to even write about it. Maybe i should start. Or maybe just delete this whole page. Idk Keep it for memories? (even if they're mainly bad) OR just click delete? Guess we'll see.

Oh and man i totally used to love browsing through the communities..i love punkmart. I'm actually going to see what's going on over there right now! =]

Link1 Up yours! Oh Bondage

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